I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
