he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
its not stalking. its research.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize