doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
