Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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