you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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