im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
