And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
