i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
