Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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