i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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