So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
