my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
