I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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