Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
