susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's shark week go big or go home
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
