so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
