Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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