im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
