Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
