dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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