I'm gonna have a badass scar
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
