The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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