I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
