so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
