Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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