toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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