We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize