Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
