and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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