she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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