I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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