So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
40s are totally the cure
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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