When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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