Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
