Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
