No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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