So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
