No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
