So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
