I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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