lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
