i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
this is an emotional support booty call
Randomize
