I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
