We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
