i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
