i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
