please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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