Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
