Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize