I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
