he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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