didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
