is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize