How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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