my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
