very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
