so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
