I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize