It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
