How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Hippo gnu deer
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
