hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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