There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize