AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
