She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Shame - the story of my life.
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