lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
