I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
