You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
